Let Her Sleep

When I attended art college we did a "blindfold" exercise.  The class was standing, with over-sized pads of paper on easels before us.  Our fingers grasped chunks of charcoal (its like the artist's beginner weapon -- they feel if we waste/destroy charcoal not much will be wasted at all).  The instructor turned on a concerto piece, of which I can't remember now, but she told us to close our eyes and put medium to the paper.  She told us to draw what we heard.  To press down when the music was intense, but to lift up when the music was pianississimo.  I was enjoying the project, and my curiosity grew the further into the composition we went because there was both -- soft, slow parts, and then there was a staccato, allegro section, followed by a bold fortississimo.  My drawing -must- have been so dynamic and I felt my 8 years of playing clarinet, listening to the different sounds of each horn, gave me an advantage.  That was when the instructor casually meandered by my easel and said "Ooh... we have an Expressionist here".  My eyes widened, and I couldn't help but look at my lines.  They were all thick and dark.  I had felt my hand lighten its grasp on the charcoal in the soft moments of the music, and I had pulled back from the paper, but my bold streaks were indeed just that -- BOLD.  They over-powered my soft streaks.  But the drawing was still beautiful.  The dark, thick inky streaks followed a pattern on the page and as I looked around the room at the end of the assignment, I realized my paper was the darkest of all of them.  I was a bold expressionist.

But I knew then that I always had been.  When looking at past paintings I really painted in that expressionism tone: what I saw/painted was subjective to how I felt.  Distorted lines and shapes, exaggerated colors are used for an emotional impact.  I am proud to be an expressionist, sharing the category with Vincent Van Gogh, Kirchner, and Munch.

So now, when I complete a painting, I am not surprised when it takes me a different direction than that of which I originally anticipated.  I am currently in the middle of one that is throwing me for a loop.  Of course I can't show you that one until I'm finished, but here is my last piece:

 

Let Her Sleep
Dimensions: 4' x 4'
Main Theme: Childhood, and lavishing in childish imagination
Pop Culture: My daughter’s figure as seen on her nighttime monitor, and the Sandy Hook shooting
Quote: “Let her sleep, for when she wakes, she will shake the world”. – Napoleon Bonaparte
Song: Perpetuum Mobile by the Penguin Café Orchestra

Summary: This painting was influenced greatly by childhood and the idea of supporting a child’s imagination, growth, and innocence. My daughter’s sleeping figure established the basic lines and shapes of the painting, of which are not easily seen as it’s an abstract expressionistic piece. Her nightly dreams and her evolving imagination touched me and inspired the bright colors and the varying textures. The painting’s distinct contrasting colors, and some of the brighter shades, were added after the Sandy Hook shooting occurred. Having the news event in my mind as I painted gave it a sense of urgency. Every day with a child is a day to influence their imaginations, and to find a way to make their lives magical. As if the painting started out as my daughter’s dream, it ended up as the dreams of the 20 children who lost their lives on 12/14/2012. The painting was not meant to be a melancholy portrait, but more of a depiction of a child’s dream with the sense of urgency to let it be. The time when imagination is magical is short-lived.


If you would like to commission a painting, please send me a message or email.  Depending on the cost of paint and canvas the prices range from $75 - $250+.

She lives.

I know, it's been a while and I'm almost ashamed to show my face here again. I mean, do real mom-bloggers ever slack like that?

I should hope so. 

Raising my kid comes first. Then being a good wife (yikes for sounding like I'm outta the 40s). Then being a good family member/friend. Then making the money.

So yeah, blogging falls pretty low on my list. Sorry folks.

BUT, I did realize the other day that I need to blog. If nothing else, to remember. People ask me questions about babies and I'm like "Dude, I dunno. I've slept since then" (which, bytheway, is a total insult to new moms). So going back to review my blogs has helped me remember.

Bria will be 1.5 this month! Look at how far we've come, people! We've kept her alive for one and a half years! With all the tantrums/demon-possessions, messes, health-scares (crazy non-itchy, non-hurting, all-body random rash = weekend trip to the doctor's office), food experiments, diaper discoveries, baby sitters, and more. I'm pretty stoked. I mean, not only do I like this whole "mom" thing... but I'm convinced I'm the best that's ever been.

When Bria grows up she will write a book about how fantastic her mom was (her dad too; he's pretty stellar). She'll praise our tactics (que flashback of us stifling a laugh while she throws a tantrum. Nothing quite as funny as a person throwing themselves down and rolling around, screaming), our tender care (flashback to me putting socks on her bc her feet are cold, even though I know she'll prolly slip on the hardwood floor), our entertainment value (flashback of my "dancing" and "singing" to Jason Mraz/Christmas music/90s music/Doc McStuffins songs), and our beautiful abode (current view: nothing is where it belongs).

...who am I kidding. Being a parent is a whole new level of 'hard'. I'm not trying to be perfect, nor do I claim to have all the answers. Even a year and a half in, I'm trying to figure it out.

"Bria won't eat today" Michael tells me. I shrug my shoulders and feed her something, anything, that she'll actually ingest.

"She just threw a tantrum because I didn't peel the banana fast enough", I say.
Then I eat the banana (trying to teach her that tantrums don't get her what she wants).

She hits/punches/kicks one of us or another adult. (sigh)
Oh the techniques we've implemented and tried to use to cure this. I'll write a blog post when she's 100% cured of her lashing-out. Until then we just read the signs: is she tired, is she rubbing her eyes, is she getting tantrum-y? We've got about 20 seconds before she pops us.
Quick! Put her down for a nap!


So, you see, if you want adventure, and if you are looking for a life that is different every single day... then you want kids, my friend. No day is the same. Every day you are faced with new challenges. No day is ever perfect, or easy. But through all of these challenges, the triumphs far outweigh the defeats. In fact, I try not to classify anything as a "defeat". It's all a learning experience. Those multiple restaurant trips, when one of us walked her around outside instead of eating, those were moments when we learned that Bria can't handle restaurants. Or rather, restaurants can't handle Bria. They were also moments when we realized if we gatta go out to eat, we're doing it at 3pm, and we're doing it at Chili's (or some other kid-friendly establishment, where the other customers aren't expecting a quiet/romantic/serene/clean dinner because they had kids of their own).

Basically, we've got it good. I thank the Lord every day that we have a healthy, happy toddler. I still cherish the simple things (watching her sleep, the tight hugs she dishes out, her smile, quiet time when a sitter keeps her over night, etc). And I still can't wait to expand our family even more (calm down. Its not happening yet). More than anything, Bria has taught me how to approach life.
We could have it SOOOOO much worse than we do.
We could be in a MUCH worse situation than we are.
We truly have been BLESSED.
Whether you're spiritual, religious, or nothing at all... you've gatta appreciate what you've got.

Truth.

Colts fan? Daddy wishes.

My last bit of advice is to adopt an optimistic view on life. Motherhood, and life in general, are gonna be tough. You know this. I know this. We all know its not gonna be easy.
But be a deliberate optimist. Be a deliberate mother. Deliberately choose joy. Smile on purpose. Work hard at being happy. Work hard at raising your kids right. It's so important to teach your kids that it's possible to make it through the hard times. To teach them to smile even when things get bad, just because they know it will get better again one day. And, if you're the type, to teach them that He's got a plan.

Fashionista.

Chocolate lover.

Singing like mommy?

Pillow Fort

And then when you're having a bad day, maybe you've believe it too.

Why do photographers cost so much?

So, apparently this topic is a trend right now, and understandably so. There is such a pricing gap out there in the photography market, and with all the competition, its next to impossible to grow your photo biz. Bad juju. Regardless, pricing is the first thing people look for in everything they do, so it makes sense to know what you’re buying. So, why is it some photographers cost so much while others do not?

I’m gonna refer to photographers in two ways today: Full Timers and Part Timers. I’ve been the latter for about 6 years now. I’ve also worked for a company that had set prices/packages, and where some employees made it their living. And I’ve met tons of people making it in between.

But back to the question: WHY?!
Briefly, you’re paying for the time, tools, and talent.
That’s what it boils down to in the service providing business. In some situations, you’re even paying for a product: printed photos, photo books, and other accessories. Depending on whether the photographer requires you to buy a print package or not is a factor there.

So, time, tools and talent.

Full Time photogs have Full Time business expenses.
These folks are the crème de la crème, and are usually the ones barking about "you get what you pay for!", and technically yes this is true. Full Timers make most of their financial living off of their business, which means they invest a lot of their own money into their work. They SHOULD have the time, and tools, to make your photos look superb. They might even have a studio, or lighting equipment, backdrops, websites, photo-viewing services, printing packages, advertisements, multiple cameras, multiple lenses, etc. and you are buying all of that when you go with them.

Time and tools, my friends, time and tools.

If you can swing it, I would highly recommend hiring a photographer like this; you will definitely be investing in a service provider that can give you 100% of their attention.

Part Timers have a different full-time job, whereas photography is a hobby, or at most a weekend job. The majoring of their income is generated by a different job altogether. However, it’s important to note that these photographers are NOT any less serious, less business savvy, less talented, less capable, or will deliver a lower quality photo/experience.

DIDJA HEAR ME? I said part timers are humans too! In fact, they may be able to relate a little more to the average middle-class photo shopper, because odds are you got bills to pay and cant just whip out the plastic for some daggum pictures.

The downfall is time and tools (wow, those two words again?). Part timers most likely do not have 8 working hours in the day to take and edit their pictures. Usually they’re fitting edit time in here and there, or on the weekends. They also usually have limited expenses: 1 camera, 1 or 2 lenses, no studio, no lighting equipment, no website, no advertisements, no taxes, etc.

Something that can sway either way, no matter the business level, is the last T: talent. A part time photographer is not any less talented than a full timer, and vise versa. I have seen, and met, MANY talented part timers (ahem, me included!), that either DON’T WANT to, or CAN’T YET make it to full time status. This is the most difficult thing to price, as well. I mean, this is a service, but this is also an artform, and art ranges in price from free to millions of dollars. Some people base their entire photography package prices on their talent (and time spent using their talent) alone. This doesn’t seem fair to me, because no matter how much money I make, I am always working towards that pay raise at the end of the year. Aren’t you? If I work hard, the value for my time and talent should always increase. But your pocketbooks don’t feel that way, so you NEED to spend your money wisely.


If you’re in the market for a photographer, consider these things:
- You should be paying for time and tools. Their tools are your tools.
- You SHOULDN’T be paying a ton of money for a PART TIME photographer, who only charges outrageous prices because they CAN.
- You SHOULDN’T pay extra for the photographer to use additional equipment. Say you’re doing a natural light shoot, but the photographer says: It’s getting dark, let me break out the strobe light. It’ll cost you a little bit more, but...
NAW!
- You need to set expectations and if the photog doesn’t live up to them, get pissy: they say a 2^nd person will be at your wedding, then that should happen! They say you’ll get your photos within 2 weeks, then that should happen. They say you’ll get online viewing rights, then you should!
- Ask the photog about their equipment. Even if you don’t understand the lingo. Ask them for a list of everything they’ve got, and then Google the stuff, or ask your photog friend. Do they require you buy a photo package? Do they print their own photos? What is the printer name? Can you see samples? Is the photo paper nice? Are the colors a good quality? Do they use a printing company? What is the name of the printing company? Do your research: check how much that photog is jacking up the prices. Do they use more than 1 camera? They should if they use more than 1 lens. Do they use natural, strobe, or flash lighting? Do they have extra batteries? What editing programs do they use?
- Ask about their experiences: How was their first wedding? Great, they say? They’re lying. How many wedding have they done since then?

Whoa, hold up.
Warning: Some photogs get offended when you get nosy about their prices. I mean, they have had other people pay those amounts, and they think it’s fair, so why should you be so interested?? But if you’re gonna put a few thou down on a car, or on a wedding venue, or for your labor and delivery, you wanna make sure you know exactly what you’re spending your money on. If it’s a good fit. If the vendor is honest, and charging appropriately. If you’re getting into a contract with someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing, or they’re over charging for prints that you can get somewhere else for a better deal. Seriously. It’s good business, folks.

Lastly, I say all of this as a part time photographer who has the hopes and dreams of becoming a full timer one day. When that day comes, yes, my prices may increase. I will be able to offer my clients that extra time, some extra services (web-viewing), and hopefully use some better tools (believe me, I have a list 10 miles long of lenses I’d love to buy). In the meantime, you can benefit from my part-time status, as long as you understand you’re investing in a part time photographer, full time corporate office worker, full time wife, and full time mom. I won’t overbook my schedule, so that I can get your photos to you in the best time frame possible. I am usually only available on weekends, and let’s make that a morning shoot (cause we both got other things to do).

Parents Like to Party Too

So you may have heard something about M and I throwing a wedding party. It's hard to believe, but we're doing it. Although the major events of our lives kinda happened outta order, we're truly blessed, and truly happy that everything has happened as such. We wanna celebrate. We wanna invite those who have supported us through thick and thin, and we wanna feed them, dance with them, and clink glasses together with them. We wanna congratulate ourselves on making it this far -- in marriage and in family, cause LAWD knows this ain't easy. And really, I think this is a smart choice. I mean, sure spending oodles of cash before you're married sounds like fun but when you actually get your hands dirty in it, in the marriage, and you start a family and deal with a few years of extremes... then you really don't have a whole lot to celebrate yet. I'm proud to say that M and I have made it this far, and we're still wild about each other. If you ask me, that's a pretty damn good reason to celebrate.

So, this weekend we're meeting with our wedding planners! Why wedding planners? Because when you're a busy individual, married with a kid, planning a party isn't something you wanna stress about. Hiring a planner was definitely on my priority list if we wanted to make this thing happen. Luckily for us, we found some FANTASTIC folks. Karla and Mareo have been superb so far (and we've only just started)! I can't wait to get hip-deep, full-throttle, overdrive and overloaded into planning, with the help of IBLE (Inspired By Love Events, Memphis) because I know they're going to help little-ol-spastic-me stay on top of things.

Check out their site here. I'll be singing their praises during this next year, just wait.

The homework I was given for our next meeting includes gathering more details on: colors, theme, vision, budget breakdown, and venue sites. First I tackled the most important (okay, so the most fun); colors, theme, and vision.

The best way for me to describe what I want IN WORDS is:  
Warm, romantic, classic and rustic

But yall know that I do better with pictures, so what I described above might look a little like this:

Is it bad that this picture is my inspiration? 

Mercury glass, burlap/tweed, crisp whites and gold hues. 

With deep navy blue accents.

 

 Simple and romantic flowers.

 

Whites and pale yellows maybe?

Love the dreaminess!

 

Games! I want games like these big domino pieces, maybe giant Jenga, or scrabble?

 

Texture -- I like the newspaper and brown paper sack textures.

 

And of course, good/dramatic lighting (only a photographer...). 

These would also look great as mercury glass candle-holders.

 

No cake for us. Pies please!

 

Would love to have a "photo booth" in couch form.

Dunno if we can make this happen though.

As for the budget, M and I are trying to stay under $7,000; which is inclusive of the planners, my  dress, M's suit, etc. The ENTIRE party under 7k... can it be done? Creating a budget is probably our best strategy at this point. Knowing where the money is going, and what we'll be spending it on, and how we can cut corners. Every single penny needs to be detailed out. And being that I'm an Analyst during my 9 to 5 its natural that I defaulted to an Excel workbook. I'll share those financial details soon.

As far as venue goes -- hopefully we'll go on a tour of some cool places soon. I'm crossing my fingers we can check out my favorite venue this weekend, and I'm also crossing my fingers that it's cost-efficient enough so we can go with it.

Either way, I'll take pictures, and I'll take notes, and I'll share this experience with you guys as we go.

Baby Shoot // Marian Jackson

Okay, so I lied when I said I wouldn't recap what all has happened in the past few weeks. This is something I had to share because she's just too cute NOT to.

I have been photography-less since April of last year (that's a wopping five months, folks) and kinda lost the itch. I mean, I just didn't have the time! But my best friend recently gave birth to her first baby, Marian, and I offered up my services. One thing that has changed since the last time I've taken to the camera is that I've had a baby of my own. Birthing your own child is the best form of experience when it  comes to infant photography. My session with Marian was beautiful, and now I'm itching for another baby shoot.

It helps that I'm in love with this entire family. Heather, Tommy, and now Marian, are close friends of mine and I so hope they love the pictures as much as I loved taking them. I can't wait for our little girls to grow together, and for our families to create memories. :)

With love,
Marie R.

Forceful Life Phases

Waiting is for wimps. When I want something, I often times go after it (*ahem* Michael *ahem*).
I know that patience is key, but sometimes you just gatta take life by the nips and make things happen.

Troof, right?

So, to celebrate getting shitake done I may be putting a little bit of pressure on myself here to write a blog entry.  Trying to get back into the habit here, so any little cheerleading you wanna do will so encourage me -- feel free! I'm ignoring the stinky stack of dirty dishes in the sink, and turning my nose up from the toys that need to be put away. I'm -GASP- taking a moment for myself, to do something that I wanna do!

Moms, you feel me, don't you?

So, I'm just going to pretend I see you on a daily basis and you know exactly what has happened within the last few months. Not even gonna try to recap everything right now. If you haven't mastered mind-reading, and facebook stalking, then you need to shape up or ship out.

There is a lot currently going on, and even MORE on the horizon. I have oodles of DIY projects currently in the works (literally half done projects litter my house, but its only because I don't have enough hours in the day). Here's my life in bullet points, or slashes... whatever:

// 30 Day Shred (as of yesterday)
// Halloween at work
// Halloween at home! Trick or treating!
// Costumes for the fam
// Picking pumpkins
// Painting or carving pumpkins
// Decorating the house
// Making my first wreath (Pinterest post!)
// Thanksgiving at home
// Christmas at home
// Day Makers Project 2012
// New Years at home
// 2013 Resolution: Organize Our Lives (already in the works, with excel spreadsheet and all)
// Bridal Shower, hosted by moi in OH (April)
// Bachelorette party, hosted by moi in Nashville (May)
// Brianna's 2nd Birthday (July)
// J's Wedding, in OH (August)
// Another J's wedding, in OH (June)
// OUR WEDDING! (Oct) Yes, you heard me right... we have begun the planning process for our "reception" doohickey. Planners have been hired. More details later.

So, this is a great wide open overview. I have multiple excel workbooks on dropbox.com, available to me anytime if I should have a few moments to do more pre-planning (in line at the grocery store, right before bed, after washing dishes and before throwing out the trash, whatever). It's quite insane how much we have going on next year with 3 weddings, one being our own, the Organize Our Lives project (OOL, as I'll call it), Day Makers Project, and the rest. Parties, parties, pinterest, pinterest, prayer, prayer... Think I can handle it?

Well, whatever comes our way I am going to try to get it down on... paper/blog. I hope my misadventures amuse you as much as they entertain me. And remember to laugh a little. What's a list like that without a crazy little good madness laugh?

On my way out, I'll share some instagram lovin' with yall.

Toodles!

Brianna's 1st Birthday (picture post)

Color scheme: teal, tangerine, white and fuschia.

Best friend writing the first letter to B.

Time Capsule. Quote within: As soon as I saw you I knew an adventure
was about to happen. -Winnie the Pooh

Party held at my parents' house -- original outdoor party plan didn't quite
mix well with the 100+ degree heat.

Just woke up from a much needed nap. Our Onsie has been teething
molars and had been cranky all morning.

Tears still fresh in her eyes, she's finally smiling.
Getting her birthday tutu on!

Please don't mind the forehead glare -- it was hot outside.

Thanks to pinterest I made the tutu & headband! The necklace however
she borrowed from me (do I sense this will happen more and more
the older she gets?).

Cheesin.

Lesson learned: "lots of balloons" = more than 50. Be prepared to spend
$100 on balloons next time I want "lots" of them, because 50 just didn't
satisfy me.

Beautiful girl.

She loved opening her gifts!

One of the attendees, being such a sweet onlooker. Ready for your party little
L??!

Cute shirt from B's godmother!!! Love you Jordann!

She's such a good cheeser.

Playing with one of her birthday presents.

L reading an ADORABLE book received from my cousin, Mindy.
Such a cute idea that I will write another blog post about.

Cake time! White cake with whipped cream instead of frosting.

That's my girl!

Pool time!

Thank you pinterest (yet again) for this banner idea. Easy!

Cooking string : clothes pins (painted and dried over night), pictures, and
stencil'd paper that spelled "Happy Birthday Brianna".





Gift bags. Another note to self: wash table clothes before using because
those creases are tacky. Ugh, I'm such a novice.

Tried to include as many silly faces of B's from her first year as I could.

Was a big hit!

I haven't tried it out yet, but you best believe I will be!